father's day

11:59pm now, wow, still got 1min father's day pass it... although this year no father person passing the father's day, however still wanna wish my father happy father's day. also all the fathers. sometime, i felt tat, my father die coz of me. coz he worry about me. coz he so take care of me. so when he alive, i dint spoke too much wit him. also no much care him. but after he leave me. i felt tat how important him. my father n get the high education. but he still love this family. during my childhood, i very scared my father, when he beat me like very crazy one. so i very scared him, but after next day, he will bought something to give me. wat i wan he sure give. he getting old and older. and i also getting big and biger. wat my want, he started cannot give me, started cannot fulfill my desire. i started hate him. i wan buy hp , i wan buy laptop. i wan buy everything. he wount let me dissapointed one. i know him sure can give me. but how i know, i never stand by his side think about him. i never think about him work untill so tired. still wanna ot. but i never think about him. i jes think my self. what i wan. he pinjam ALONG, let me can go to Utar. in the end, he jes smile wit me, son no pro one. ur fees i will settle to u. u jes go on. i dint relised tat money came from where. i jes saw him every day work , always work. never stop it. how he work , i still no see he got money to me. where the money go? buy some useless things already? i blame him. i blame him coz he take the money also dun give me study. i cry it. but he still said dun worry. i will settle it. finally, i entered the utar. seldom stay in house already. jes few month met him. time very short. no met so much. he continue work. although he sick already, he still work. finally, he cannot support himself already. finally he get it a lot of sick in his body. we no money take him go to private hospital let him get the good service. jes let him get the service from government. i cannot stay in hometown so long coz i need to start my new sem. the last time i met him it wan in hospital. he asked me izzit enuuff money to spend? wanna me bank in to u? he already in hospital and cannot work already. he still asked me. after i back jes few month. i get it he came out hospital already,but still enter again. i worry about him. in the end, a call to me, "ur father no already" what?? where my father? last day i still talk telephone wit him. he still talk wit me. but today u tell me he gone already? after i back to hometown, i jes knew it. during this period he keep a lot secret and dun let me know. he called my mother tell me he ok. actually he sick already. he work hard coz he wanna pay back to ALONG. this time, i stand beside his coffin and see throught him inside the coffin. he thin already, he old already. he look make me shocked. he cannot wait until me graduate already. 5days i accompany beside his coffin. i told him, father dun rope ur self in his family already, now u should learn to fly. dun let this burden keep on to u. this burden should turn me to take it. thanks u father. coz u, jes got me. although this time we wanna got a gap. however, u still in my heart. i no a good student? i also no a good man. but what i will promise u i will life wit happy and continue my life. i wanna appreciate my life. and i will take all ur burden now. father u never change my heart. may be i cannot get a good result to u, but i will be a useful man in my life.....